Author: The Tower

Take Black Swan and swap out the art house stuff for more blood and boobs. You’ve got Bloody Ballet!

The title makes me think of an English person that does not like the ballet.

No weenies were injured in the making of this movie.

This movie is like a never ending string of dad jokes, except I like dad jokes.

Literally every single scene starts with a slide whistle sound.

Whoever did the sound effects on this movie needs to be kicked in the nuts.

The first hour is a 0. The last 20 minutes are a 6.

Faster than lightspeed travel and they are fighting with shotguns and revolvers.

I know I’ve only known you for five minutes, and you are covered in giant AIDs boils and St. Bernard slobber, but I love you.

He just blocked a bullet with his monster finger, like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

And that’s why you don’t leave the Mona Lisa on the floor of your space freighter.

It’s okay if you get raped in your sleep by the birthday party monster. You can just burn the warts off.